Runaway Love

2019 has been nothing like I imagined it to be. I have stumbled in ways that I never thought I would and almost lost my faith altogether.

I remember saying: “It wasn't supposed to be like this, this isn't my story.”

I was struggling with the lie that I am beyond redemption and that lie, came in between my heavenly father and I. Apathy, shame and condemnation, stood in the gap of God’s love for me. As I ran from God, I ran from grace. God became a feeling, Christianity became a routine and the Church became a building. It was tough because the words of the world became louder than those of God.

Runaway love.

I found myself so focused on doing, as opposed to being. When you live with a medal mentality (as if there's a medal on the other side of your righteousness), you always miss the mark and this makes you feel like even more of a mess. Inadequacy.

I was so focused on trying to overcome my struggles, sin and bad habits, that I missed God altogether. I missed God, standing with arms wide open waiting to love me. My relationship with God starved and as a result, I ran into the arms of things and people that could not sustain me. That which could not hold me, help me or heal me.

I was guilty, ashamed and lonely, but I am grateful that I have a God who is on my side. A God who helps me overcome. A God who loves me no matter how many times I mess up.

There are a few lies that I believed throughout 2019 and I have listed them below. I have also countered each lie with a corresponding truth. Read and Reflect.

LIES

1. I am beyond redemption.

Truth: I am redeemed.

“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” - Romans 8:1

2. I will never change.

Truth: You can start again.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"-2 Corinthians 5:17

3. I am not loved.

Truth: You are loved by God.

“The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” - Jeremiah 13:3

"The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." - Zephaniah 3:17

4. You are not strong enough.

Truth: God’s strength is available to me in my season of weakness.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. - Ephesians 4: 22-24

5. God doesn't hear my prayers.

Truth: God hears the cries of our heart.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”- 1 John 5:14

What an honour it is to serve the God of reroutes. The God who meets us where we are at. The God who transforms our mess into a message.

He’s that good.

Prayer:

God, I surrender my life to you AGAIN. My fear, shame, pain and dysfunction. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart. Lord, replace my heart of stone with a heart of flesh. A heart that is focused on pursuing you. May I experience your supernatural love, peace and freedom. Thank you for all that you have done in my life and the person that you are moulding me into.

Anesu Mautsa

#ByGraceThroughFaith